12 Whacky (unhelpful) Things People Say to You When You Give Birth

Childbirth and labor is a unique experience. The joy in finally delivering your baby that you lovingly carried, bringing them out into this world, puts you on top of the world. These moments, filled with a myriad of emotions, are treasured by all moms for sure.

PC : The Independent

Sometimes, things can get a little too stressful for some and everyone has different ways coping. Some try to be helpful and ease the pain for you but in vain. People don’t always react as you’d hope them to be. Here are some anecdotes regarding whacky, ridiculous things said to women during their childbirth.

1. When I was born, my dad didn’t know that babies are usually born face down, and as I was coming out he screams “OH MY GOD SHE DOESN’T HAVE A FACE!”
2. As a nursing student, I was watching a planned c-section. The procedure was being performed by the senior resident. Everything seemed to be going well when I heard the resident mutter “whoops” and I looked up and saw blood squirting out, pulsing. She fixed the artery very quickly but it obviously freaked out the mom and dad. Later, everything turned out okay for the mom and the baby.
3. We hired a doula for our first kid 4 years ago. She told us a story that I still laugh about. She was with a couple that had been told they were having a daughter as their first kid. So like first-time parents they outdid themselves with everything pink, sparkly and frilly, the whole 9 yards. The mom goes into labor and they call the doula to come in, to be there for the birth. Mom’s pushing, dad is cheerleading nervously. The baby pops out and the doula notices that the sonogram tech that said they were having a girl messed up. The dad is too busy to notice anything is amiss. So the doula tells the dad to do a finger and toe count to clue him in. So the dad looks at the baby, see 10 fingers and 10 toes and one penis. Now he’d been told that he’s having a daughter for the past 6 months and sees a penis and the first thing he screams is “OH MY GOD! MY DAUGHTER HAS A PENIS!”
4. After 19 hours of my 24-hour labor, he (the husband) looked at me and said: “I’m bored”.
5. A young couple, mom, and dad were both around 18 if I recall correctly, it was their first baby. Mom’s pushing and Dad is doing this awkward jig wanting to be helpful but not really knowing how to be helpful. At one point I say, “Okay, we can see the head now” (still awhile to go) and Dad jumps up, runs to the counter, puts on rubber gloves, and gets into football receiving position, like 10 feet away from mom’s legs. We all burst out laughing and he was very embarrassed to learn that babies do not shoot out across the room to be caught like a football.
6. No one was responding to the call button as my mom was giving birth so she yelled “DO SOMETHING HONEY!!” so my dad ran out into the hallway and screamed at the top of his lungs, “IT’S SHOWTIME AND I’M NOT A VERY GOOD CATCHER!”
7. After the baby delivers you still need to deliver the placenta. Usually, not a big deal but a lot of blood and fluid comes with it often. As she pushes it out her husband’s face goes white and he says, “Whoa!” and has to sit down as he faints.
8. Not a doctor but was present for my cousins birth. My 90-year-old grandma was there, sitting on the other side of the curtain. She wanted to be present but didn’t want to see anything. She had never witnessed a birth before and doesn’t remember anything about having her own four children. As the baby came out, everyone on the birthing side of the curtain was cheering and excited. This caused my grandma to decide she needed to open the curtain to see what was going on. She actually clutched her chest and fell back into her chair in horror. Nearly 12 hours of labor and to this day, that’s about the only thing I remember.
9. While I was being born my dad pointed at a machine and said “Look! You’re having a contraction!” Mom screamed back “I KNOW!”
10. An hour into pushing, he (the husband) asked me if was going to eat the sandwich he made for me before we left for the hospital. Apparently, he didn’t expect it to take so long and he was so hungry his stomach was hurting.
11. If I (the husband) knew this was going to take so long I would have worn more comfortable shoes….
12. Don’t relax yet, you have a second baby to push out.