I don’t have to explain how important self-esteem and self-confidence is in this piece of writing. As all parents agree, confidence is the key to your kid’s success which will take them to greater heights if developed at a tender age.
Self appreciation and self-worth boosts their morale whereas responsibility and accountability makes them aware humans. Here are few tips to build self-confidence in your kids.
1. Let the Baby Feel Special
Attachment parenting during the first few months of infancy proves to be very rewarding for the baby’s self-worth and to develop a strong trust between the baby and the parent. Babies nursed in a baby sling are in utmost proximity to the parent, where the parent is ever ready to respond to the baby’s needs and movements. Babies who are stroked often, and who are in the personal space of the parent often feel loved, cared for and valuable. This attention at an infant stage builds a strong sense of self-worth adequately, i.e. not turning your baby into a narcissist.
2. Let Them Toss the Ball
Studies show that activities initiated by themselves hold their attention much longer rather than the ones suggested by their adult playmates. When they see an adult complying with their play ideas, infant’s brains tend to develop a sense of importance and self-worth. “mommy likes to play what I play” is a great confidence booster in baby minds as they are far more impressionable.
3. Careful With Those Compliments
Yes. Agreed that your kids need achievement. Any kid who is in the process of learning requires certain appreciation from the parent which helps them feel accomplished. For children, this appreciation is a symbol parental acceptance of their abilities. But do you want to shoNewwer your kid with tons of praises that he or she becomes complacent and not take an effort to do better? It often happens so that children are appreciated way out of proportion for meager achievements like throwing a ball or drawing a stick figure. Nope, I am not asking you to be a stringent parent but be a smart parent. Give appreciation where it is due and don’t fail to provide specific feedback. For example, if your daughter drew a stick figure ask her to improve the details by drawing its hair, giving it clothes etc.
4. Be Your Kid’s Safety net but not the Firefighter Himself
It is parental instinct to protect your little baby from anything negative. Let it be the school play, Christmas choir, the gang of friends who do not take in others or extra time at the soccer practice. While treading through such disappointments, a parent must be careful not to overstep, take charge and do things right for the child. The parent should let the kid understand that such failures are common and learn from them to lead to success. For example, if your baby girl is not invited to a birthday party, do not call up the mom of the birthday girl’s mother and self-invite your girl.
5. Power to Make Decisions
Building power of judgment is very important as your kid grows and begins to interact with the society. Making his or her own choices helps to build self-trust. But letting them make the choices all together has been proved tiresome by many liberal parents. So, what you could do is limit the options and leave the decision making in your kid’s hands. For example, you could choose three shoes for your kid and your kid can make the decision of buying which one. Doing so, kids begin to feel accountable, important as their opinion is being heard and confident towards the end.
6. Widen their Horizons
Having a hobby or an artistic passion helps to create a sense of owning amongst children. As a parent, you can expose your kid to various activities out of which your kid might find interest in anyone. The expertise they gain while pursuing this art makes them successful in other areas too.
7. The Glass is Always Half Full
Is your kid disappointed? Do not stop at giving verbal help. Devise plans to avoid such disappointments. Verbal assurances will only polish the surface but not mend the internal distress in your kid. Thus, your kid remains underconfident. Did your kid not get the first prize in the poetry competition and is bummed by it? Don’t stop at “don’t worry baby you are a star!”. Say “it is alright baby, today onwards let’s read more books and get better at it!” such concrete plans alone have the tendency to boost their morale and confidence.
8. He Says me Have to Work Work Work
A sense of responsibility and accountability are keys to developing confident children. A parent can induce this by assigning their kid to do certain jobs around at home. One can begin as early as 3 and make kids do little chores that they have already shown interest in. my cousin always loved to see the water bottles full. So, my aunt assigned her the job of filling up water bottles whenever she finds them empty. The pride that kids take in fulfilling their duties is almost beautiful to watch and improvises their confidence.
9. Get Rid of Those Labels
My very intelligent 4-year-old cousin once told me “I can’t go out in the open, I am asthmatic”. Only when I began to closely observe, her label of being asthmatic has restricted her mind and character to do certain things that she must do to grow out of her comfort zone. Her label makes her feel powerless which almost crushes her confidence at times. As parents, even though your child faces issues, do not provide them with more reverence than they already hold. Try to subtly trivialize the shortcoming which will make your kids feel that they can achieve things irrespective of having an issue.
10. Friends
Make sure you keep a track of your child’s friends. Let them choose their friends but always keep screening them. Filter them based on their behavioral patterns. At times certain kids have a tendency to dominate which might crush your little one’s tender confidence. Observe your kid after play dates, is peaceful or upset. Use your mother instincts to develop healthy circles for your kid and help to build their confidence.