Traditionally, raising children has been considered to be a “woman’s job”. Right from the time the baby is conceived to the time when he becomes comfortable handling his own chores himself, it is the mother who takes on the role as a nurturer and feeds, changes, baths and soothes the babies. Moms are seen to be the primary caretakers of children in our societies. As a child is not only about bonding with the mom but getting comfortable with the dad as well. Hectic day to day life can pose a barrier to the same, however, asking dads to take of kids’ bedtime routines can be immensely beneficial for the kids as well as fathers.
Some of the beneficial effects of father-child bedtime routines are mentioned below.
Dad gets to Bond with Kids
Right from the time a baby is conceived, a mother remains closer to a child than the father. Although fathers do try to spend enough good quality time with their kids, their essential needs are often understood and mostly taken care of by the mothers hence making them clog more time with the kids. Fathers may feel helpless because of this situation but putting the kids to bed is one area that could help them evolve their relationship and also help spend more time with them.
Baby Learns to Trust Father
Babies are naturally closer to mothers given the fact that the first nine months of their existence were spent inside her. Also, the mother is a nurturer of the baby and this is how he grows up to associate with her. Fathers, on the other hand, need to earn this privilege of bonding with the kids and hence when a father takes up a nighttime routine, the baby learns to trust the father as a caregiver as well.
Dad Learns to take Responsibility for Kids
Along with the birth of a child, the birth of a parent also takes place. Fathers, whom the society up till now viewed as the provider of the family takes on the role of taking care of the kids as well. The sense of responsibility that kids bring to your lives is huge. When a father gets in the habit of being in charge of feeding, changing, bathing and reading to children at bedtime, he begins to understand his responsibility as a parent more fully. Getting in touch with a softer side of his, he gets to understand his children better and the sense of responsibility makes him a better parent as well.
Dad gets to Shape kids’ Personalities
Bedtime stories are an important part of every kid’s life.This is the last thing that we hear at night and process all through the day. We decide on our superheroes, likes and dislikes, pretty much based on the same lines as those of these stories. By spending time with children at bedtime, dads gets to shape his kids’ personalities as well. From his own selection of bedtime stories to the way he reads them and the message he conveys, sticks with the kid for life thus influencing his thought process and life altering decisions.
A Chance for Fathers to get in Touch with their Creative Side
Taking care of kids is no easy task. Hence leaving the whole task of the same on mothers is not a wise choice. Fathers spending quality time with the kids, in whichever part of the day is in itself wonderful but sharing a nighttime routine and a bedtime story with his kids, can help him get in touch with his delicate and emotional side, compelling him to come up with various creative ideas whose existence even he wasn’t aware of.
Children Understand the Role of Both Parents
Barring a few exceptions, mothers are the primary caretakers for kids and children don’t really understand the role of the father beyond being the provider. To make children better understand the role of both parents, having a nighttime routine will help establish a sense of the father as a parent instead of just being the person who brings in the money.
Mom gets to Have Some Time off
If the father takes up the responsibility of taking care of getting the children to bed, even getting them to brush their teeth, change into pajamas, soothes them and read them bedtime stories, all this would take a huge load of work off the mother and the father would also be able to bond better with the child. Moms get to have some time to herself to unwind, relax or wrap up chores that she might not have had the time to get around to the whole day thus reducing her stress levels and making her more involved in family dynamics.
Beneficial Effects on Marriage
When a father takes the responsibility of children’s bedtime routines, not only does it take a lot of pressure off the mom, it also helps her get back into “wife” mode after a while day of being “mommy”. Most men complain that their wives don’t pay attention to them after their children are born but this problem can be easily eliminated if the father takes care of being the primary parent during the evening. Both can then take a time to focus on their kids and their individual needs, reducing the expectations each has of the other and enjoy a harmonious union with shared responsibilities.
Early experiences in life give way to our future aspirations, personalities, and goals. Therefore these early timings need to be complete with both mother’s and father’s undivided attention to the kids. Since mothers usually take care of the kid’s day to day routines, a dad can share a bedtime routine with his kid- bathing the child and changing him for bed, tucking the child in bed, closing him up and reading to him, all these activities deepen the bond between the child and the father thus making up for any ignorance felt during the day. the midnight talks can also help boost the child’s confidence and help make him a better individual while a father gets to share his quality time with the kid and thus experience a wholesome family life.